September 2004 saw Judge Mahon in the ‘Corruption Tribunal’telling Ray Burke and his pals the multi-millionaire ‘ Bailey Brothers’from north county Dublin to pay their own legal bills.Appeals to the high Court were under way,and it is thought likely that Joe Taxpayer will cough up in the end…as usual.
I realized that the main players in the corruption enquiries could become very wealthy and pay their own legal bills , if they came clean on everyone else involved.
(The notorious Frank Dunlop published his memoirs a few weeks after I wrote this )but it was only a load of crap and the real meat was missing.
Perhaps he will write a better sequel.
I described how they might grow richer than they are,-the way famous celebrities and ex presidents do-by writing their memoirs.Perhaps they have this plan in mind and it explains why they are being so tight lipped before the various Tribunals.
I had a wonderful dream in which the 4 sc--bags concerned, openly confessed their guilt in public (Like Bill Clinton & Monica).It went something like this;
MILLIONS OF EUROS TO BE PAID TO LAWYERS BY CRIMINAL QUARTET.
Rumour is rife in political circles, that Ray Burke ,Liam Lawlor ,Pee Flynn,and George Redmond’s rehabilitation in respectable society is imminent. An immeasurable service to the nation,will save the taxpayer hundreds of millions of Euros in Tribunal/legal fees.
They have ,in a joint press conference,yesterday,agreed to "come clean" about their criminal past.
As part of the deal ,the C.A.B. has announced that the criminal quartet will be allowed to pocket an estimated 20 million Euros profits from the sale of their joint autobiographical expose covering 20 years of stroke planning politics,within the Fianna Fail Brotherhood.
The Tribunal,costing 1 million Euros a day,will be cancelled forthwith.
It is estimated that this will result in some hardship for many members of the legal profession.
They (the quartet) have all received bullets and masscards in the post. It is uncertain whether Fianna Fail councillors,builders,,or disgruntled lawyers are to blame.
The "Broederbond rules"of members of the Soldiers of Destiny Society dictate that they take their secrets with them to the grave,(-one way or another.) Nevertheless they have decided to do the decent thing and help clean up the cesspool of corruption which surrounds Fianna Fail to this day.
Three Hollywood producers are bidding for the film scriptrights,and the spin off from worldwide sales of cute and cuddly ‘Pee-Wee Flynn Pandas’ ,’Rambo against corruption’ tee shirts, and ‘George Redmond is an innocent man’ car stickers,and so forth,-will net Disney Studios another estimated 20 million Euros.
Bertie Ahern had agreed that the taxpayer would have been left to pick up the Tribunals tab except for their gallantry. Liam Lawlor etc. have had none of their ill -gotten assets in Ireland registered in their own names for many years.
The likely outcome of their confessions will see the attempted sequestration of hundreds of millions of Euros,by the Criminal Assets Bureau,from corrupt builders and involves dangerous and uncharted legal waters . It could see people like the former Taoiseach Charles Haughey and the fabously wealthy'Bailey Brothers' ending up in the workhouse.
"Its a nightmare scenario" remarked Bertie Ahern, "we were going to increase the bin and other stealth taxes to pay the lawyers,but now it looks like the Fianna Fail tent at the Galway races will be deserted next year. As a result of these startling developments, some of them may actually have to spend a few weeks in Jail.!"
Dream on Taxpayers….It might happen in Heaven.
(there are no pockets in a funeral habit!-as every dead millionaire knows).
Happily this dreadful scenario is no longer in prospect, since Minister Seamus Brennan’s new Entertainments Privatization Bill allows for Public-Private Partnership between discredited politicians and the Department of Justice.
However there are fears that if the book and film, are released simultaneously,before the next General Election takes place –it may have to be cancelled for fear of widespread rioting in poorer areas.
Mary McAleese is prepared to sign a martial law order.Even if the Army and the Gardai are on strike for more benchmarking monies, Martin Cullen has prepared contingency plans to (quickly) move Battalions of The Soldiers of Destiny;mostly G.A.A. irregulars and Loyal Farmers, into the capital to restore law and order . Sinn Fein’s new councilors may well promote Civil Disorder there.
Ray Burke could not be contacted this week.He is in New Zealand at present visiting one of his daughter’s.who (rumour has it )is soon to marry …She left Ireland some years ago after the house in Drumcondra which was ‘bought’ for her by Ray, was raided one morning in a dawn swoop by the dreaded C.A.B….
Other informants(tennis), tell me that George Redmond who was a member of Fitzwilliam Lawn Tennis Club is no longer stroking his balls there.The illustrious members rightly shun his company and he is now keeping fit in ‘Total Fitness’Gymnasium,on the Navan Road near Castleknock,where he is regularly, a quiet, and an unassuming visitor.
When your correspondent approached him recently to enquire of his health he was momentarily shocked to be confronted,but confided that a whole year in prison was a penally severe punishment to impose on a man ,some eighty years young.
Perhaps younger men will eventually follow in his footsteps.
."if you can’t do the time-don’t do the crime!" is an old prison lag proverb.
No word from Prague Liam Lawlor….
This bulletin is Issued by Corruption Watch, an aftercare counseling service for victims of State oppression,Tribunals and the notorious C.A.B.
In September 2004 the papers were full of readers complaints about the high cost of living,pubs,restaurants and so forth.Fianna Fail were less concerned..Their single mindedness in pursuing the decentralization scheme was quite frightening and the implications too dreadful to imagine.Two Luas trains collided in St Stephens Green and a major catastrophe was narrowly avoided as they were not traveling at high speed.
At the same time a well connected multi- millionaire ‘friend of Fianna’ property developer, with a penchant for building conference centres without planning permission(not unusual among the Fianna Coterie)was running into a little opposition from the ‘An Taisce’environmental watchdog.
A cunning scheme was devised by our political overlords to overrule their objections to the lack of transport facilities, by running a ‘spur’ extension to the location of his vast west Dublin Empire .It was suggested that the developer was willing to pay for the Luas extension.
But who always ends up paying for the sins of the property Magnates? Particularly as the price overrun is usually three times the initial estimate.
Meanwhile the sprawling suburbs Dublin West,with an open abandoned railway line running into Broadstone Station in the heart of Dublin, was without a Dart service,and there was no plans to provide one….