Brian Lenehan signing free holiday permits for NAMA taxpayers/owners of luxury hotels worldwide.
A statement from Mr Lenehan.
"This (the K Club) is one of the many beautiful hotels and golf courses scattered around our beautiful country.Heretefore it was the preserve of millionaires,but now, I your Minister for Finance, Brian Lenehan have taken charge of these bankrupt amenities on behalf of the plain people of Ireland. The cancer of greed and self serving capitalism, which has destroyed our economy, is being addressed by me. Although everybody must suffer some pain in the decade to come,the fact that the poor, the unemployed and the lower paid workers must suffer most, has given me considerable thought in recent months,and my own illness has given me a greater perspective on the suffering of the tax burdened victims of these greed driven bankers and developers.
What doth it profit any of them in their rampage for obscene wealth, if they lose their immortal souls?
I am therefore opening all these luxury hotels to the public completely free of charge.This will at least give something back to the minimum waged,widows, old aged pensioners, and so on, who must now contribute out of their pittance,in order to save the nation.
To qualify for free accomodation/golf/ fishing/spa use etc. in any of the two hundred hotels under NAMA management, an application must be made to Revenue to obtain a certificate indicating the amount of special deductions & emergency levies paid by you in the previous year. The reference number of the certificate must be included in the application for accomodation. All requests for breakaways will be facilitated if possible on the dates you desire.You will be offered a choice of hotels free on those dates.As the K club is likely to be swamped with applications,holidays there will be distributed on a lottery basis.You will be notified by E-mail, if successful .All guests must present their Revenue Special Tax Deductions Certificate on arrival."
Yours in fraternal fellowship, Brian Lenehan,
Minister for Finance
You will be greeted on arrival with a (tax & VAT free) bottle of Moet & Chandon.
You can bathe in our gold plated baths lit by candlelight,to sooth your negative equity worries and help forget your mortgage arrears worries.
You will swim in our fabulous indoor pool
For golfers we have a championship course at your disposal.
The luxury of your accomodation will be an unforgettable experience which you will recall to mind during the long dreary days filling in CV applications for non existant jobs.
PS. If Mr O'Leary ever builds a cheap terminal in hanger 6, we can also offer you free accommodation in a large number of luxury hotels in London, Paris,Warsaw, Shanghai, New York, etc etc. Contact email@example.com for a full list of participating establishments.